Guilty....

It's so hard being a parent!

Today I decided to drop by the house at 1130, just prior to Madison's lunch time. I thought it would be nice to spend some time with her, maybe cook her lunch and then go back to work. All was fine until the time came for lunch.

Elizabeth came up to join us for lunch, and soon she was merrily eating her meal.

Madison, on the other hand, was half hearted eating hers, trying to spit every mouthful out. Sigh. That really drives me bonkers. As time drew on, my patience wore thinner and thinner... and then she started whining and standing in her seat. Finally the straw broke when she started spitting the food out. Initially I kinda warned her about capital punishment... like a threat... but she kept doing it so I did the deed. Spanked her on the hand. Once. She started to cry. So then I took her out of her seat and ended the meal. I got to her level and told her that I didn't like her spitting her food out.

To be honest, I was furious at that point, and I was still angry when I took her to the bathroom to clean up. Ok.. so I used a little more force than I should probably have while washing her hands and face... but I didn't spank or hit her anymore. I guess she could tell from the tone of my voice that I was angry.

Finally when she was all clean and tidy we had both calmed down. I don't know if she'll remember what I'd said.. and I felt sad that I had lost my temper. Although after reading the book on positive discipline I consciously remember to control myself now. I hugged and kissed her just before I had to go back to the clinic.

How do people do it? Become saints and effective parents...?? To be calm and in control at all times? That's the reason why I couldn't be a stay -at -home mom. I'd probably go insane. That's not wrong, is it?