Being a parent

I think I really suck at being a parent.

1. I have very little patience.

2. I don't know how to discipline my kids in a way they 'get' it

3. I can't deal with sick kids, not even my own. I can see them as patients, but not actually care for them.

When the kids are well, things are better.

The mornings are still stressful trying to get them both ready for school. I really don't understand why kids have to dawdle so much in the morning when it's exactly the same everyday. I have an hour to get them ready now. I can't even begin to imagine when they start primary school and have to be ready for school at an unearthly hour..

Of course now Annika is sick again for the month. She was so well.. and then just suddenly became sick in a blink of an eye. This morning her temperature was 39C, and she threw up after eating 2 spoonfuls of yoghurt. Thank goodness Warni was already here and she handled it. I seriously cannot do sick kids.

Last night, out of the blue, Madison kicked Annika off the sofa. Annika landed on the hard marble floor head first and smacked her forehead on the ground. It was so loud!

I was flabbergasted. And really angry.

I admit it... I smacked her hand and Chris put her in a naughty corner for a long time. We got her to apologize and make up with Annika afterward.

Then this morning.. she did it again! Kicked Annika but at least nobody fell off anything.

I was like ????? She got 3 smacks on her leg and a really stern warning. I really didn't know what else to do. We've warned her so many times. She's already been in naughty corner. What's next?

I was really glad to go to work this morning.

Days like that I seriously wonder if I should ever have had kids! I'm not good at this! It doesn't help that this sort of thing gets to me and I feel guilty/bad/sad about it afterwards. And obsess about what I should have/should do.

My sister is way more zen about parenting than I am.. and maybe I should take notes ...