Work!

This has been a rather crazy week!

Initially when I planned to return to work, I meant for it to be half days in the afternoon only. But, the minute the week started, patients appeared in the morning, and I couldn't turn them down.

Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays Madison has school. Usually I'll drop her off, and by the time I'm back and settled the baby it'll be closer to 1030 am. Thankfully patients at the clinic don't seem to come round too early. In any case, I'd have to turn them down or get them to return later. So then, Annika is left in the good hands of Warni and I rush down to see the patients. On Monday this week, it was too late to go back home after I'd finished so I had to go straight back to pick Madison up from school.

Between 12 and 2PM it's definitely a no go zone. Warni needs to give Madison her lunch, bath and settle her for her nap of the day. Which means I have to stay at home until Madison goes down, usually by 130Pm. Hopefully during that time I am successful in settling Annika, which kinda depends on how much she has slept during the morning.

It's quite hard to keep her up and happy! She's peaceful when she's sleeping, but then she refuses to go down for her afternoon nap. If we try and keep her up she's crying and fussy! So usually it's a delicate balance between the two states. Warni seems to be better at keeping her up and slightly more pacified than me. It takes me close to an hour or 1.5 h before she finally settles in the afternoon ( usually ).

So, then by 145PM or 2 PM I can usually go back down to the clinic. I can't even imagine if the clinic was truly busy! I like it that I don't have too many patients at the moment... and my patients are mostly happy to go by appointments ( rare in Singapore!)

Today the morning appointment ran over time. It was a mad rush to go home and by the time I got there the baby was wailing, Madison had turned the house upside down but the good Warni was cool and collected! I really think Warni is better at this mothering thing than I am... she's got the personality for it.

I'm starting to feel really guilty towards Madison; the days she is at home she winds up spending quite a bit of time with Warni or by herself. I guess I should be happy that she is able to entertain herself, which probably is developmentally appropriate. Just that in the past I'd be able to spend more time with her. Hopefully as Annika grows older it'll get better. Then maybe the 2 of them can play together and entertain each other! Annika also gets the short end of the stick.. she can never get the amount of time that I had with Madison at the same age.. the only difference is that she'll never know.. which is sad. Why does it feel like anything I do is never enough?

Finally... I LOVE the iPad! Only problem? It needs a Mac OSx 10.5 and above to work! So the iMac and this laptop is obsolete... apparently the software for the new operating system software is not even compatible with them! But, Chris got the iPad working for me, and it keeps me company through the long nights and when breastfeeding! Just wish I could download some ebooks off iBook or Amazon for kindle.

I guess we all just have to press on...