I'm glad in retrospect that this time we stayed nearly 3 days in the hospital and so had more time to recover.
They were well spent establishing breastfeeding and getting to know Annika, as well as getting some rest before facing the challenge of life with 2 kids. It was also nice to have a bevy of trained people around looking after me and the baby.
2nd time round is slightly easier. I already know how to breastfeed and that is really half the battle won. It's a little like driving a car or cycling, a little practice and it all comes back.
Recovering from the C section seems to be slightly better in the pain department compared to a natural birth with an episotomy. The wound hurt when I moved for the first 4 days or so, but seemed better today. I took painkillers initially but was able to stop them after 3 days.
The lack of sleep is the killer though. Today is day 5 of sleep deprivation and I am starting to really feel the effects of it. For some reason, I simply cannot seem to fall asleep at night after going through the drama of feeding, changing and settling the baby in the middle of the night. By the time I finally settle myself down to sleep the cycle starts again! And it's hard to sleep during the day too; I feel I should try and spend some time with Madison when the baby is asleep. I'm already fortunate that I have the luxury of not having to deal with housework as well!
Yesterday we were at KKH getting Annika tested for jaundice. Her serum levels reached 252mmol/L up from 167mmol/L just 2 days ago. At 260mmol/L she would require phototherapy. Madison's paediatrician was in the clinic so we went to see her. Today we were back again, and I was mentally prepared for Annika to be admitted for phototherapy already. BUT to our surprise, the level actually dropped to 204mmol/L!
Madison has been a real trouper. She hasn't really been acting up even though I spend so much time with Annika. Today, after the appointment I carried her on impulse ( even though I really shouldn't ) and she hugged me really tightly. I felt sad and teary and realized how much I MISSED her too. My life used to revolve around her; now Annika takes up most of my time. I think she feels it too, but somehow seems to understand that I have to do this. I'm grateful that I have so much support from family during this period: she is constantly surrounded by people who care and look after her really well. The 3 domestic helpers chip in quite a bit in keeping her company too. Also, not forgetting Elizabeth!
At the moment, the greatest fear that I am facing is that Chris goes back to work in a week's time. I am worried about how I will cope with 2, not to mention when I have to go back to work!
But, like before, things eventually sort themselves out, and life goes on... and before I know it, the 2 of them would have grown up and all this would seem like a distant past. I didn't imagine 2 years ago that I could actually get my life back once Madison grew up and became more independent. And so this time, I am enjoying every baby moment with Annika. It is so very short, and so very worth it ! ( in retrospect ! )
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