Visitors from Down Under

Cheryl and Kayla came over to visit yesterday. They'd been down to see Cheryl's family and she'd been pretty busy since being in Singapore.

Kayla is pretty tall now, she's 5 this year and going to kinder in Melbourne. Her hair is soft brown and really LONG, she looks like her dad and mum. We didn't really do much, but it was nice meeting up with Cheryl, and finding out about our old friends in Melbourne. ( still pretty much the same, just married and pregnant, most of them .... )

I really admire Cheryl's tenacity, coping with being a SAHM to Kayla for the past few years... she has to cope with housework, childcare and everything else on a daily basis. In Australia the work hours are better and she sees Jake daily, and he must help out quite a bit so that helps. We didn't get to meet him this time round; he left for Melbourne a week ago. Well, kudos to the mom, Kayla is doing well and blooming into a young lady!

Speaking of visitors, Chai was back in town too, for the past 3 weeks. The next Dr Fong in the family. Pa is really proud of him. Ma mainly misses him terribly when he's in Melbourne. We only got to meet up with his current beau once for dinner.. the future "Mrs Fong"??

My little brother is quite mature these days. He comes back from overseas and has the initiative to try and help around the house, get the TV screen checked ( bad news, the LCD screen is DEAD), and spend quality time with his little nieces. I think he was pretty bored too. Ma took a few days off to keep him company, although I'm not quite sure what they did those days.

Chai left for Melbourne about 5 days ago now, taking a ridiculous 12 hours to make the journey back via budget airlines! He's flying back with SQ in November. Wait till he has to work! Then time is of the essence and every hour is $$$ ( or so Pa says!)

Next in line to see us will be Anthony. He's due at the end of the month, the lucky sod. Travelling for the best of this month and a bit of last. Tour de japan to see his loved one, Kei, then to Malaysia to visit the grandparents before the last stop here to see his niece.

Thank goodness no one has come down with the "swine" flu or H1N1 (hini!) just yet, although the excitement about that has just about dwindled to seasonal flu. ( and who cares about that, even though heaps of people die from it every year!!!)

It's great having visitors, like an excuse to take time off work to do other stuff. Although we should try and be more "fun" and "adventurous" from time to time. Why are we always stuck in a rut?

Oh.. and not to forget... our dearest cousin Kay Shin who is now staying with us. It's great. She loves to cook and bake too, and so we get " cook-offs" from time to time... we've had cheese cake, brownies and cookies. It's a tough call.

Visitors. It's like contact with another universe.

1 year amnesia

It's all true.

They say new parents have this inbuilt ability to FORGET the past year, especially the pain of the early months. They say you get the desire to have more kids again.

I didn't believe a word of this 1 year ago, when I was in the throes of sleepless nights, endless feeding and diapering. I think I must have sworn then : " never again! Not for a few years! "

For some really inexplicable reason, I HAVE FORGOTTEN! I look at Elizabeth every day, and start to wonder what Madison was like at that age! And I can't remember! I can't remember what she looked like, what her schedule was like, how her physical development was like in comparison to Elizabeth. I don't remember what we did at night once we moved back to our own home, what the holiday to Melbourne was like.

That's what diaries are for, to remind you of the past. Now I wish I had a more detailed diary of what Madison did then.

But maybe it's better to forget. And simply enjoy each moment as it passes. Love does grow, and the feeling of love that I have for her is now stronger than ever, so strong it feels like it could burst somehow from my heart. Almost like a physical pain somewhat. How could I ever love another child as much as I love this one?

Cliched, I know. And the answer? You get more love for all the kids you ever have. But I wonder if the love is fair, if it is the same for all ? I suppose I have to find that out for myself.

Madison is such a gem right now. After the troubles of early infanthood, before the suffering of school starts. Just tonight she was dancing to the beat of Michael Jackson on TV. I managed to get that on video. And she is the greatest imitator, from actions to words, it's amazing how quickly she can process information now.

How do I encourage her to her fullest potential? Encourage her to develop a healthy self esteem? creativity?

Now I get to have time to myself, and yet how not to feel guilty about spending time away? How do we have our cake and eat it?

Conflict at home

I suppose it was bound to happen sooner or later...

We were at the Novena house this evening, doing the same old usual boring thing ( ie not much ) and sitting around chatting before dinner. Elizabeth was in the playpen that was right in the middle of the hallway, supposedly trying to sleep without help.

Of course Madison finds the playpen irresistable and one of her favourite activities is to crawl into the pen under the mattress that was suspended above.

Ma was playing with her then, and allowed her to crawl into the pen with Elizabeth lying on top. Geok saw it happen and promptly told her to get Madison out. Instead of doing just that, Ma got defensive and Geok ended up telling her off. I had to intervene and get Madison out of the pen. Ma got upset.

Then while we were having dinner Madison started to approach the pen again while under the care of Warni. Elizabeth for some reason was unsupervised in the pen. Geok immediately told Warni to take Madison back to the play area and keep her there.

I am trying to stay level headed about the entire thing, but if Geok wants her daughter to be safe from other people, is it not better for her to be napping upstairs away from the crowd in the evening?

Does Madison not have every right to be freely playing in the house?

Is it unfair that access to the pen, that now sits smack in the middle of the hall, that constantly tempts Madison, is forbidden to her?

I try my best to remember the time that Madison was that age, the tiredness and frustration I must have felt then. Maybe Geok is just tired and flared up because of that?

Conflict is inevitable when there are SO MANY people around these days in the house. Makes me want to avoid going there. But it's unfair to deny Madison her grandparents, her uncle, and even her new cousin. Especially her doting grandmother.

Sigh. How do people overcome conflict at home? Maintain peace without feeling cheated? Only in parenthood would I sacrifice my freedom so that my daughter gets the best out of being in an extended family.

My conflict is also how to make sure Madison is not denied her rights, and yet not cross paths with my sister. I can only imagine this is the start of a longer drawn out battle!

Life in a nutshell

More pics of my little angel....

Its like heaven when Madison is sweet ( usually in front of grandparents ), compliant and smiley...

Then she pisses the hell out of me right the next moment when she refuses to eat breakfast, plays the throwing game at the table and whines her head off.

That's when I hope that I have to go into the clinic for my sanity and leave SOMEONE else to do the hard work of childcare! IE : Warni...!

Yesterday we had Chinese class again... I'm sorry but I am not really enjoying these sessions that much. Kind of like I have to go sit for an hour with these stranger mommys who aren't the friendliest at the moment. ( at least that's how I feel ). We'll see. Madison seems to be ok and she can kind of participate in the singing and actions. It's a pretty small class, which has its benefits... every child gets more attention from the teachers (2 ) . But it also means I'm kinda stuck in a small room with 3 other women whom I don't know and probably have little in common with! That's how I decided NO OTHER CLASSES until she can attend them ON HER OWN!

Elizabeth is growing quickly too, and Madison seems to be really concerned whenever she squeals or screams. Then she gets the green eye if I just spend too much time even looking at her! Same goes for the grandmother.


I was pretty amazed that she can drink quite well from a cup these days, especially if it is filled with something she likes ( usually sweet ) . Oh.. and she prefers COW's milk to my milk. Time to wean pretty soon... Just that at the moment I am hoping to protect her from eczema if I can with extended feeding.. she seems to be getting some red patches on her legs and elbows... the scourge of eczema can drive parents mad... feeding is NOTHING in comparison to what I see my other patients go through!

Today was a good clinic day... Patients to be seen at all 3 locations. Especially Joo Chiat, which was DEAD AS A DOORNAIL for the past week and a half! I'd started to get depressed about it again, thinking it was a goner, I'm not succeeding in private by myself, better to go back to locum work... blah blah.. sob sob...

Hopefully it'll keep up, I don't really need it to be bursting at the seams but it would be nice to see someone there everyday... same goes for Balestier.

Running a business really takes some gumption.. having to listen to staff grumble and bitch about each other, sort out drug inventories, in between praying that the clinic would survive... But its a challenge, and I hope that it'll last!

Elizabeth is 1 month

Today Geok and Munhon officially cross the 1 month mark. They held the customary celebration at the Novena House and invited some friends and family to commemorate the event. Of course the poor helper Maria nearly died but that's another story!

I hate to brag, but today once AGAIN Madison made me PROUD.

There was another toddler at the party, daughter of one of the relatives. She was barely 1 month younger than our chum Madison, but developmentally was well, less developed... Madison speaks better, moves in a more co-ordinated fashion and plays more maturely than the other girl! Even the other parents were, well... I suppose to put it mildly, impressed?

We were at the pool this morning too.. and there was a nearly-2 year old toddler in the pool... and Madison was able to tolerate dunking by me, albeit the occasional splutter and protest. In fact just a few days ago I actually let go of her in the pool, just like the baby swimming videos like u can see on Youtube! ( well.. she didn't really like me for that and today she absolutely protested at me even thinking of attempting it again...looks like she is developing a bit of a short term memory now! )

ok..ok.. this entry is becoming about Madison again...

Anyway.. Elizabeth looked absolutely adorable in her pink jumpsuit that had green polka dots on it. Lots of people ''oohed" and "aahed" at her, and she got heaps of red packets and some gifts as well... plenty of photos taken by Munhon and Chai.

One last mention of my dear girl.. she is really developing her toddler charms now... temper tantrums and hissy fits ... breakfast is getting to be a bit of a nightmare these days.. not sure if her appetite is waning or just that she wants to eat crap now. I actually had a hissy fight with her yesterday morning, that of course ended up with me yanking her out of her high chair and banishing her to her room. Ok.. I was kinda harsh and a bit violent with her, and she bawled her eyes out and sobbed terribly.. And bad mommy me... didn't feel anything except exasperation and some irritation, in fact.

Actually.. I am getting some anxiety over having to give her breakfast nowadays... it's getting to my patience and I admit it.. I AM NOT PATIENT! Warni and Chris beat me hands down in that department!

New words: today : THUNDER! NECK !
recently: Hand, man, phone, I want! , don't want! Crap! grape! darn! Ice/eyes, Arm, toes, echo. Ball... papa, mama, Ah Ma, kong kong. bird. apple. elmo.

15 months and counting

Today Madison turns 15months officially!

The morning we spent in educational pursuit... Mandarin class.
After much consideration and some shopping around, we finally settled on a basic Mandarin class for Madison twice a week. Hopefully this will spare her the painful difficulties that I faced growing up when I struggled through the language in school. At least for now she seems to like the class, where the hour and 15 minutes are spent in singing, dancing and playing while the teachers direct in Mandarin. I wonder how much of it she understands?

After the class she was quite tired and we struggled to keep her awake getting home. Fortunately Warni was all ready and took over while we went out to town, first to the gym then lunch at the Coffee club. I had plans to visit Kinokuniya but of course, had forgotten to bring my privilege card so that was the end of that!

The rest of the afternoon was spent at the Zoo. We were lucky, by the time we got there and into the thick of things at around 4PM, quite a few of the animals were being fed. Madison was quite taken by the monkeys swinging in the trees, giraffe being fed carrots, white rhinos and zebras munching away on greens.

The new rainforest kidz world was packed with kids too.. this time we packed a spare set of clothes for Madison so she got to splash around with Chris.

By the time we left the skies turned grey and we missed the downpour just by 5 minutes! We headed back to the Novena house, where the adoring grandparents could take over.

Finally, to celebrate 15 months, Chris and I went out to dinner at Spruce. It's a fairly new cafe/bistro at Phoenix park along Tanglin Road, and has been favourably mentioned in the media of late.

The food did live up to their fame, with the burger taking the cake. The sweet onion crepes were fragrant too. The only flipside? The sizes of the dishes were a tad small for the prices that they were charging.

We shared a sticky date pudding for dessert and it came rather quickly which took us by surprise. There is a fine line between making a customer wait too long and food arriving too quickly, which always makes us suspect the MICROWAVE OVEN. We began to wonder if it was a frozen dessert, quickly thawed and served warm with ice cream (?? Walls ?? or fancier Movenpick/ Hagen Daz ? ) Dinner came up to $85 including 1 wine and an OJ.

The day passed all too quickly, and another one is upon us in a blink of an eye... and Madison grows yet another day......

Grandma in town!

GRANDMA AND MADISON...

Chris' mum from Melbourne arrived on Tuesday night(2 nights ago ), in time for dinner with us at home.

Her visit this time round was to coincide with Boon Hean's wedding in KL, and she'd had a ball with the relatives. Well.. kind of... the grandfather was down with some chest thing and they'd had a bit of a tiff about how it should be managed. That's families for you. Some manage through peaceful discussions, others thrive on emotionally charged debates. In the end things do get sorted out, occasionally with silent wars that usually don't persist for too long.





GRANDMA, NEIL and MADISON



In any case, I decided to try my best to make her short trip worthwhile, so I took a day off work yesterday to take them out.

The weather, being Singapore weather and all was as usual hot and humid, with the threat of a thunderstorm in the clouds. Guess where we ended up first ? Shopping, of course. By the time I'd picked them up from their hotel it was close to Madison's lunch time and we had to make our first stop at the foodcourt at Vivocity.

Then it was time for a wander around till our lunch time, and by this time Madison had fallen asleep. The chaos then began.

Neil wanted a Singapore SIM card. So he headed off to the mobile phone shop. Mummy was happy to just hang around and shop at the M & S shop while I had to run to the car to get the stroller cover.

Of course Chris finishes clinic late and needs to be at a meeting within 30 minutes. So I rush. And of course we couldn't find Neil. I took a punt and assumed he'd do the smart thing and call us when he couldn't find us.

We start lunch at Bakerzin. Midway through he calls. Twice before we manage to tell him where we were. The kind souls at the mobile shop directed him to the cafe. At this time I'd taken over the care of the stroller while Warni ate her lunch. When I came back, Mummy was in tears! Argh... another tiff...

Things did get sorted out... and the dark cloud did pass... of course by then I'd developed a bit of a headache....

We spent the rest of the afternoon at the Botanic Gardens with Pa and Geok.. Elizabeth slept through the entire jaunt! She's getting bigger quite quickly and Geok is coping remarkably well by herself ( Munhon is back at work ). She looks great too.



ALL OF US AT BOTANIC GARDENS.. umbrella for ELIZABETH .. sun REALLY HOT.





Auntie Kimit took us out to dinner at the Chinese Swimming Club. Her grandson, Gordon came as well, and his mother gave me a blow by blow account of her 4 year old education... well.. I did ASK! In short, he started lessons at 6 MONTHS, beginning with music then progressing to enrichment Mandarin and English classes. She knew all the brand name schools and recommended that I start with Julia Gabriel.

Ok.. oops.. Madison is close to 15 months and the closest to any group activity that she does are her visits to the Botanic Gardens where she gets to splash around with the other kids in the fountain play area!

So ... I shall have to think seriously about her education? To assuage my guilt, I have signed on for a trial class at Growing Up Gifted.. shall have to go check out JG too now... at least have a look then decide whether or not to BURN some serious cash on early childhood education!