Patience

I discovered something this weekend. It was like an epiphany.

Before I had kids, I didn't really think about having any.

So after we had Madison, I thought, hey, it would be really selfish not to give her a companion, once you have a kid you are seriously committed to at least 2.

So we had Annika, and we spaced them 2 years apart. Which is quite common, I have come to realize.

And then I felt like we should have 1 more ( at least??). Crazy! From not wanting any to thinking about 3 or more!!

And before Liam was born we were coping great with 2. So great that I had no trouble having other people's kids around, babysitting them while they played with my 2.  Could even make meals for other people's kids, take them out together on excursions!

 So I thought, how bad can it be with 3 or 4? After adjusting to 2, 3 must be a piece of cake!

What an idiot I was. 3 is like out of control. It feels like a constant choice between baby or the older 2. I feel guilty leaving the baby and I feel guilty leaving the older 2. And they all need so much attention! I know all this is temporary, but wow! At the moment when the kids are not at school or at my sister's place its nonstop.

So now, I feel like I have no more juice in me for other people's kids. No more patience. No more love. That's it.. my own 3 have taken every bit out of me and any other time I get I want it for myself! Not to mention work.. that's another avenue of frustration.

Liam is doing great and he's such a joy. People are right when they say number 3 is usually the easiest to care for, the easiest in terms of personality. I think its also partly because the parents are experienced by the time number 3 comes around. I'm enjoying his babyness so much right now. He's terribly cute and such a talker already. Ever since he turned 3 months, his personality is showing up. He's also wanting to sleep and eat much less than before, especially when he hears his sisters or other people around.

I can't imagine how people have 4 or more kids... they seriously outnumber you and there isn't time for them all. The stakes are higher with each subsequent kid. There are MORE older ones that need your time. Time that you cannot afford to give to the baby anymore.

So I guess 3 will be our magic number!