Patience

I discovered something this weekend. It was like an epiphany.

Before I had kids, I didn't really think about having any.

So after we had Madison, I thought, hey, it would be really selfish not to give her a companion, once you have a kid you are seriously committed to at least 2.

So we had Annika, and we spaced them 2 years apart. Which is quite common, I have come to realize.

And then I felt like we should have 1 more ( at least??). Crazy! From not wanting any to thinking about 3 or more!!

And before Liam was born we were coping great with 2. So great that I had no trouble having other people's kids around, babysitting them while they played with my 2.  Could even make meals for other people's kids, take them out together on excursions!

 So I thought, how bad can it be with 3 or 4? After adjusting to 2, 3 must be a piece of cake!

What an idiot I was. 3 is like out of control. It feels like a constant choice between baby or the older 2. I feel guilty leaving the baby and I feel guilty leaving the older 2. And they all need so much attention! I know all this is temporary, but wow! At the moment when the kids are not at school or at my sister's place its nonstop.

So now, I feel like I have no more juice in me for other people's kids. No more patience. No more love. That's it.. my own 3 have taken every bit out of me and any other time I get I want it for myself! Not to mention work.. that's another avenue of frustration.

Liam is doing great and he's such a joy. People are right when they say number 3 is usually the easiest to care for, the easiest in terms of personality. I think its also partly because the parents are experienced by the time number 3 comes around. I'm enjoying his babyness so much right now. He's terribly cute and such a talker already. Ever since he turned 3 months, his personality is showing up. He's also wanting to sleep and eat much less than before, especially when he hears his sisters or other people around.

I can't imagine how people have 4 or more kids... they seriously outnumber you and there isn't time for them all. The stakes are higher with each subsequent kid. There are MORE older ones that need your time. Time that you cannot afford to give to the baby anymore.

So I guess 3 will be our magic number!

3 months

How is it that another month has passed?

I think with each subsequent child time has sped up.

Liam is now officially passed 3 months, so I can breathe a little and not be AS paranoid that his siblings/ cousins will give him some bug that will land him in hospital.

And of course as soon as he hit 3 months he caught his first cold. The poor kid... runny nose in the day and then a stuffy blocked nose at night.

Life is starting to settle since Liam was born. Annika and Madison are quite loving towards their brother and I'm happy they don't seem to be overly jealous of him. Annika does clamour for my attention more than Madison but she's easily distracted.

Work has been a good distraction and it's tempting to do more. The good thing with retrospect and experience is that this time I know I'm going to take it slow and spend the time with the kids. The clinic can wait and hopefully the work will come back once we are ready. I think it helps from the business end that Chris is also helping so I feel the pressure less.

Novena house is finally progressing well, and the end is in sight. The walls have started to appear and the roof is apparently up. We are hoping for a completed house by year's end.

As for us, the final permit finally came through last week .Of course this doesn't mean much because we are still waiting for the structural engineer's permit before work can start. I hope this isn't the start of our nightmare.

The end of the year is approaching fast. Wish I was headed for a snowy ski holiday somewhere but I doubt we're going to be able to take any until Liam is older and the house is ready. Chris and I always toy with a trip away without the kids, but he doubts I'd be able to do it!