Colds, school and friends

This cold is persistent! Kids have just about the worst bugs.

Today I was so proud of Madison. She was teary about going to school, but when we arrived and she had to do the usual routine of disinfecting her hands, removing her shoes she did so without complaint! Not a tear shed when I left her. I hope this keeps up.

Ever since she started being ill, Madison has noticeably been more insistent about getting her way, expressing her independence and wanting to do most things on her own. I think that's why parenting is hard.

Just when I thought things were stable, she changes. And I have to wake up and realise that everyday that passes my little baby is growing up and becoming a person. I've picked up some books from the library about positive parenting, since I realized that I'm becoming grumpy and upset with her too frequently. It's enlightening, to read about how important it actually is to encourage some of this independence, they call it 'autonomy'. Apparently it is the building blocks of self esteem and confidence in the future. And I want Madison to grow up being a confident person. She is smart and pretty already, but it is useless if she doesn't know it and is unable to use it to her benefit.

Some of the things that the authors advocate include giving the toddlers some choices, while allowing them to experience disappointment at not being able to get everything that they want. Being able to survive disappointment is a life skill. The authors also didn't advocate punishment or (surprisingly) rewards.

I think what hit me the most was the statement to most of all, enjoy the child. Battles between parents and children at this age exist only because of a misunderstanding of the child's developmental stage and are unnecessary because it is a stage that passes too quickly. Instead we should be use it as an opportunity to foster closer bonds with love and understanding. Because they grow up way too quickly and one day we will miss the spontaneity that toddlers and young children possess.

On another page. One of my best friends just let me know that she is pregnant ! I am really happy for her. That's when it also hit me. My friends will be friends for the rest of my life. Children grow up, leave us and cannot truly be our companions in the way friends can be. No matter what happens around us, we should try and keep friendship strong. Because of the shared and long history that we have. We may have different beliefs and ways of doing things, but that is ok.

I cannot believe in 8 weeks or so we will have another child. I really don't know how we're going to cope with 2, fit all of us in our little apartment, keep the clinic alive etc... But I do know somehow time passes and things do sort themselves out.