EARLY PARENTHOOD

The going is really tough... no one is kidding you when they tell you the initial days are crazy.. I am wondering if it'll ever get better, even though everyone I speak to always reassures me that it will, then I'll miss the old times!

I think at the moment the nights are absolutely the worst, every night is becoming a mini phobia inducing episode for me and probably Chris as well... it all depends on how well Madison wants to sleep.. at this point trying to force her to sleep in her own cot is pointless.. we'd all be up till 5 am trying to pacify her!

Madison generally is a light sleeper and jumps easily at noise/movement,especially her own startles..then she awakes with a rude shock and cries lustily until someone rocks her back to sleep or I comfort feed her! I think she is associating me with comfort sucking now, and most times I find it almost impossible to calm her down in any method other than the breast!

There was an article yesterday in Mind your Body, a supplement that comes with the Straits Times, on total breastfeeding.. It was written to encourage more women to persist with total breastfeeding IE no supplements with formula. The article stated that 95% of women start out attempting to breastfeed, but by 2 months only 14% are total breastfeeding and by 6 months only 1 % are left breastfeeding in Singapore! Reasons sited were insufficient supply, engorgement, poor latch, baby preferring formula!

Now I understand why women give up breastfeeding.. it is tough and no one else can really help you in the initial days. So many times already in the first month have I contemplated supplementing with formula, especially in the long lonely nights when I have to be up feeding her endlessly, tolerating sore nipples, aching breasts and the mental fatigue and fog... Nights are tough, because you feel so alone in the quest. And the baby does not show any appreciation( ie stay asleep long enough for you to recover !)

But I have to persevere... if I survive 2 months I already belong to the 14% of women in Singapore! Teo Yen Ping, the lactation consultant at KKH is quite proud of me for having persisted thus far... I have called on her invaluable services twice this month, and am truly grateful for the support and help that she has given to me...

IF ONLY MADISON COULD SLEEP WELL AT NIGHT.... IN HER COT WOULD BE A BLESSING... I'd really hate to have to sleep train her later and have her cry it out!